Negotiating for the Best Outcomes

10.7.2017

Some of us love to negotiate. Others really don’t. But, like it or not, the capacity to negotiate can make a big difference in how we do at work.

To one extent or another, most of us negotiate – with managers, employees, colleagues, or clients – every day. Successful negotiation isn’t just about getting your own way. It’s much more important to arrive at a mutually beneficial agreement that maintains harmony – allowing all parties to feel that they have been taken into account. When they’re present though, the negative emotions that we’re all sometimes prey to can ramp up the challenge of a negotiation and we can easily lose sight of the other side’s position.

Mindfulness training can change your mindset, enabling more positive outcomes from negotiations.

The effects of negotiation

Negotiation can give rise to unsettling emotions. We may know what we want, but sometimes the stress and tension of not knowing what the outcome is going to be can make things very uncomfortable. Negative emotions, when they’re present, impede our chances of success.

In their book, ‘Beyond Reason: Using Emotions as You Negotiate’, Fisher and Shapiro suggest that we all hold five core concerns when we negotiate: Appreciation, Affiliation, Autonomy, Status and Role. They suggest using these concerns as a lens to understand the negotiation process. These core concerns, they suggest convey, “Human wants that are important to almost everyone in virtually every negotiation.” By addressing them, negotiators can be successful and effective in dealing with conflict.

How mindfulness helps

Mindfulness training increases empathy.  That can address the first core concern by enabling us to better appreciate the standpoint of the other parties to the negotiation. It makes it easier to reach a compromise and allows us to feel more connected with those we’re negotiating with - thus creating a sense of affiliation. When we’re mindful we become self-aware. This gives us greater autonomy as our stance on the subject becomes clearer. With that self-awareness and our increased awareness of our relationship to others, we become more aware of status in the situation as well as the role we play in coming to an agreement.

How to use mindfulness while negotiating

1. Plan the negotiation. Be clear on your purpose and what you ideally would like to happen. Decide on deal breakers so you’re clear on what aspects you’re able to compromise on.
2. When you speak to the person you’re negotiating with, actively listen to what they have to say. Be present and digest their views carefully so you can be clear on how you want to proceed.
3. After they’ve spoken, take some time to digest what they’ve said and regulate your emotions before you react.
4. Practice empathy and compassion by considering their stance on the issue. Are they justified in disagreeing with you? If so, is there a compromise that can be made?
5. Really try to understand the emotions you’re experiencing. Are they justified? Consider whether it’s worth the other person knowing how upset you are. What would the consequences of this be?
6. Before you speak to the person again, decide what your top priorities are and what you want to get out of the discussion. Prepare for compromise and decide what would be acceptable and what wouldn’t.

If emotions are beginning to escalate, find ways to calm things so you can both act rationally.

For more details on using mindfulness to help with negotiation in the workplace, contact rachel@mindfulnessworks.com or call (+44) 01223 750660